Self-love and (genuine) self-care can be a tricky pursuit. On the one hand, you want to love yourself because it feels good and makes life great. (Obviously.)
On the other hand, you've got society, influencers, your boss, your mother, and even your own ego constantly telling you why you're never good enough. Which can make things a little tougher...
But if you really do want to start dedicating yourself to loving yourself there are several tools and tricks that will help you tremendously along the way.
In this article, I'm sharing some of my favorite self-love practices that I feel get overlooked and neglected the most.
I mean, there's always the obvious ones, like affirmations, yoga, meditation, taking long, uninterrupted bubble baths... Those are all great practices and everything, but the ones I'm about to teach you are things you might not even realize you could be doing.
Every point in this article is something that if you just start doing a little more of it every day, you'll be acting more and more like someone who loves themselves. And by practicing that for a little while, you'll be well on your way to a lifestyle that is the most self-loving.
So let's dive in, shall we? #timetoloveyoself
P.S. Be sure to also download Self-Love For the Modern Woman! It’s a quick and powerful read that will help you immensely. Plus, I’m giving it away right now for free!
1. Saying "No" More Often
Saying "no" more often, in other words having boundaries, is one of the healthiest most powerful ways to start loving yourself.
It's O.K. to politely decline sometimes.
It's O.K. to skip the party in order to rest at home.
It's O.K. to call in sick when you need a break.
It's O.K. to not be everything to everyone… all the time.
What I'm trying to say is, stop bending over backward for other people and start putting yourself first. Then, and ONLY then, can you decide who and what you want to say "yes" to.
The most successful people in life don’t just know what to say “yes” to, they also know what to say “no” to and they do so often!
I challenge you to stand in your own authenticity today and practice saying "no" (nicely, of course) whenever your first inclination is to decline.
Usually, we just ignore the part of us that wants to say no because we have been taught it's not "nice". But what's really not nice is putting yourself at the bottom of your own priority list!
2. Relating to Meditation in a New Way
As a self-love coach and advocate, some form of meditation is a must when it comes to your self-care practice. But it's easy to get into the meditation grind and forget how pleasurable it can (and should) be.
So if you're feeling like meditation has become a chore, it's time to fall back in love with it so you can fall back in love with yourself!
If the whole sitting and breathing technique doesn't do it for you, here are some other meditation techniques you can try so you can enjoy your practice once again.
Try a new one every day of the week and see which one resonates with you the most. Then, when you've found your favorite, enjoy that meditation style until it gets stale and move on to the next!
3. Forgiving (and Not Forgetting)
Forgiveness is your very own shortcut to feeling better when you've been wronged by someone or something in your life. Or perhaps it’s you who needs to be forgiven. Either way, you should make it regular a part of your self-love practice.
BUT, and this is huge but, just because you forgive someone (even yourself), doesn't mean you have to forget about what they have done and excuse their past behavior.
There is a fine art to forgiveness where you can genuinely forgive someone in your heart (it doesn't even have to be to their face) and then choose how to properly handle the situation in real life. As a person who loves themselves, you should still hold them accountable for their actions and you can choose not to trust them or even associate with them any longer if that's what you need to live your best life.
(Pssst! If this topic intrigues you, there is a whole lesson in my online course Radical Self-Love dedicated to how to forgive yourself and other people.)
4. Wanting More
You know how when you love someone so hard you just want them to have everything they could ever want and then some? Naturally, you want the best for them because you love them.
Well, if you seriously want to love yourself you should try wanting the best for yourself too every once in a while!
Take it from a very healthily self-centered girl, wanting the best for you and your life is a surefire way to ensure you'll do everything you can to create your dream life and never settle for less than you deserve. Not only will it help you to feel amazing, but that energy is going to touch every single person you come into contact with.
Along the way, you're going to inspire others to live their best life too! So really, it's a win-win for everybody, not just yourself.
(Want more self-love guidance? Download Self-Love for the Modern Woman for FREE here!)
5. Feeling Good Unapologetically
A lot of people (without even realizing it) subscribe to the notion that there must be a reason for them to feel good. Everything in life has to be perfect otherwise, there is no valid reason to feel good, cause you "don't have anything to feel good about".
Well, I say f*ck that! Why not just decide to feel good because life is short and you can choose to feel good anytime you want?
Let me tell you right now that you don't need one single reason to feel good, although I'm sure you already have many if you take the time to look!
I know nobody has ever told you this before but you can actually choose to feel good just because it feels good. It really is that simple.
This is what I like to call “unconditional living”. Looking to our circumstances to determine our mood is out, unconditional living is in.
6. Resting When Necessary
In today's world, it can seem like if you're carving time out to rest, you're falling behind. But this is simply a lie we tell ourselves in order to try and keep up with the Joneses (an impossible feat when even the Joneses are likely struggling behind the scenes).
Really what we should be doing if we want to get ahead is taking care of ourselves and getting in alignment with the chill, calm and collected person we are meant to be. When we get into that flow state, real magic happens. That's when your genius turns on and life get's reallllllly good.
So make sure you're giving yourself permission to rest on a daily basis. If you're tired, take a nap. If your brain hurts from thinking too hard, go for a walk. If you're sick of dealing with stupid people, take a break.
7. Giving in to Pleasure
There's a reason why your soul chose to come to earth and live life as a human. As humans we get to experience the awesome sensations that come with living in a three dimensional body/reality. We can interpret all kinds of information with all five (or sometimes more) of our senses.
For whatever reason, there seems to be a lot of shame around the idea of giving in to pleasure. But there doesn't have to be! When you take the time to enjoy what brings you pleasure, whether that's snuggling your dog, enjoying the most delicious smelling candle ever, (or dare I say it) participating in the "S" word, you are taking advantage of your time here on earth by soaking in its juicy moments through your senses.
You're indulging, and that's great! People who love themselves let themselves indulge a little.
8. Suffering (Temporarily)
I think Danielle Laporte said it best when she stated, "When we paint over pain with premature positivity, we short circuit our healing." In other words, don't go through life bypassing your negative emotions in order to fake feeling better.
It's O.K. to embrace your pain sometimes.
It's O.K. to feel shitty every now and again.
It's O.K. to cry, and mourn, and get mad, and scream into your pillow! (Clearly, I have experience in this department.)
So if you are going through some pain right now, I highly recommend you check out this video where I talk about how to handle fear and other "bad" emotions.
At my Radical Self-Love Retreat, I teach women how to do this in the most gentle and loving way and it transforms people. I’ve literally seen alcoholics heal because they don’t need to use alcohol to run from their feelings anymore. I’ve seen divorcees finally move on because they gave themselves permission to grieve and then let it go.
Give yourself permission to start going through your "bad" feelings instead of trying to go around them. Sit with them, validate them, work with them, and on the other side, you will feel that much more whole and the negative emotions will not come back to keep trying to teach you a lesson.
Self-Love Tools To Help You On Your Journey
You can save all the self-care checklists from Pinterest and follow as many self-love coaches on Instagram as you want, but if you really want to learn how to actually love yourself, beyond basic self-care, I’ve created an online video course called Radical Self-Love designed to help you realize your divine perfection and start loving the F out of yourself!
In the course, I go in-depth and teach you all the best self-love techniques and daily practices that I’ve learned along my journey to help you on yours. You’ll get in touch with your heart… love your inner child… forgive yourself for everything… journal a bunch… start seeing yourself through the eyes of Source… and so much more!
Click here to see if Radical Self-Love is right for you. If you took the time to read this whole article, then chances are… it might be!
If you wanna learn how to love yourself with me, in paradise, consider joining in on the next Radical Self-Love Retreat. It’s my deepest, most transformative offering!
I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOUr Self-Love Journey!
Have a copy of Self-Love for the Modern Woman, for FREE and start loving yourself like never before today.
