Let's be honest. Positive affirmations are great... when they work.
Here's an example we can all relate to. Let's say you want to shed those extra pounds. You could always affirm "I'm super skinny!" until you lose your voice (and your confidence), but if it's not actually making your life any better... then what's the point?!
So how do we really get affirmations to be effective and powerful when we want them to be?
Well, this is something I decided to write a whooole book about and in this article, I'd like to share a little excerpt from it. In this excerpt from #ActuallyICan: The Art of Affirming Yourself to Greatness I share some of my favorite "do's and don'ts" when it comes to positive affirmations.
The Do's of Affirmations
(Always) use present tense
Always affirm things in the present tense as if they were already true. If you affirm that something will happen (in the future) it will always stay stuck out there, in the future! No “I will” or “I want” allowed here! All you have is now.
"I am in an unconditionally loving relationship" not "I will be in an unconditionally loving relationship."
Focus on what you want
Always state what you want, never what you don’t want. Whatever you focus on expands.
"My job brings me great satisfaction and sense of purpose" not "My job sucks and is totally unfulfilling."
Try using your name
Affirming things in the third person can sometimes be even more effective than using the first person tense. Especially for people who need a lot of outside reassurance and encouragement. Try pretending you are your favorite school teacher and tell yourself how great you are!
"Kelsey, you are really talented and lovely" instead of "I am really talented and lovely.”
The Don'ts of Affirmations
Forget affirmations are a tool
Although affirmations are game-changing, it’s important to remember that they are just one of many tools. Just one more exercise to keep in your self-empowerment back pocket.
Be a hypocrite
If you say your affirmations for one hour every day, but complain the other 23 what do you think will happen? I'll tell you what; a whole lot of nothing!
Make sure your actions match up with your affirmations. Don't just say one thing and then act a different way. That will totally confuse the Universe.
Be the next desperate housewife
Don’t try too hard with affirmations. You can feel when you’re trying too hard. You have to relax into it, not force it.
If, after the 16th time of saying it, an affirmation gets stale, dump it. If it taunts you when you say it, trash it.
Don’t reinforce the fact that what you want hasn’t happened yet. If you do, you’re actually energetically affirming the opposite of what you’re trying to affirm with your words.
There are a lot more tips and tricks where this came from! So if you'd like to purchase a copy of my book #ActuallyICan: The Art of Affirming Yourself to Greatness on Amazon, click here. (If you are outside of the U.S. simply search for "#ActuallyICan" on your country's Amazon and it should pop up!) If you would prefer an ebook version, click here.
P.S. If you liked this article you'll probably also love this one, where I teach you how to use affirmations without feeling like a liar.