Why the Law of Attraction Works for Some People but Not You
(Disclaimer: This article will probably be misinterpreted by some as a list of things you are doing wrong because you're stupid and suck at manifesting. When, in fact, it is intended to be a list of things that you might (unknowingly) be doing that are killing your ability to manifest your desires. It is my sincere hope that you have one (or many) "Ah, hah!" moments while reading this article that will help you to stop sabotaging yourself and start successfully using the law of attraction to your advantage.)
If you were intrigued by the title "Why the Law of Attraction Works for Some People But Not You" then you’ve obviously heard about the "all powerful" Law of Attraction. This universal law basically states that you get what you think about. That whatever you focus on manifests in real life.
It makes a lot of logical sense and you want to believe it. You want to believe that you can create your own reality. Everybody wants to feel that kind of empowerment and control.
But you can’t.
You can't because it's never seemed to work out for you before. You’ve tried to think happy thoughts, make vision boards and do positive affirmations, but nothing works.
Well, that's because there is a little more to the law of attraction than you've probably ever been taught.
Here are (in no particular order) some insightful explanations as to why it's not working for you and suggested further readings that will help you solve the blockage.
(Pssst... this is totally something I teach more in depth in my online course Manifesting Masterclass. If you're ready to become a manifesting machine, I highly suggest you check it out here.)
You're a little vague
One way the law of attraction could seem to never give you want you want is because you're not being clear enough. The universe loves specificity.
Maybe you want “more money”. What do you really mean by "more money"? If you want more money the universe will provide that in the form of a lucky penny on the street or an extra ten bucks you find in your pocket. Technically that’s “more money" that you attracted into your experience via your request. You just have to get a whole lot more specific than that.
The cure: Read Manifestation 101: How to Manifest Anything Your Heart Desires (especially "Step 1: Ask and Focus"). Download the free Manifesting cheat sheet and get clear about what you want.
You're too desperate
Another reason you’re not realizing your manifestations in full could be that you are too attached to the outcome. You simply need it too freakin' much, which is creating a lot of resistence.
Unfortunately, you cannot create from a place of need because when you want something so badly you are not in an allowing mode. Resistance is the very thing that blocks your manifestations from coming to you. You must send the desire out and then trust that it will come to you at the perfect moment.
The universe isn't looking out for you in the sense that it gives you what you need most. It responds to your vibration because you were given free will when placed into this physical reality. You will always have the freedom to choose your vibration, and the universe will always respond accordingly.
The cure: Read Why You Never Get What You Want (and What to Do About It) and "Why does God Never Give Me What I Need When I Need It?"
You're unfocused
The thing about the law of attraction is that you get what you focus on. And there are two sides to everything you want; the wanting of it and the not having of it.
Most people accidentally focus on the not having part. Which creates more not having. Even people who think they are focused on what they want are really focused more on the absence of it.
For example, you want a new car. But every time you think about how you want a new car you are really thinking about how much you hate your current car. So really, you're focused more on your current car.
The door handle is broken, the stupid windows don't even roll up anymore, it always stalls, it gets the worst milage, the AC is broken… the list goes on. You obviously hate it and are using all these reasons to justify why you need a new car. But where in all those thoughts is the new car? Nowhere. And that’s why it's not coming. You think you are focused on a new car when really you are focusing on the current car, the exact thing you are trying to get away from.
Likewise, you can't just think about what you want for 5 seconds out of your day and then go back to complaining about your current situation for the other 23 hours, 59 minutes and 55 seconds. When presented like this, it's obvious why.
The Cure: Read How to Stop Manifesting Unwanted Things. Download the free manifesting cheat sheet. get focused about what you want with my book #ActuallyICan The Art of Affirming Yourself to Greatness.
You're imagining the wrong stuff
Too many people worry too much about how their manifestation will come and what they want it to look like, rather than what it will feel like when they have it (which is what brings it fastest).
When you order food at a restaurant you don't tell them exactly how to cook your food or what you want it to look like. You just order something from the menu that sounds yummy and know that they will bring it to you after they have prepared it perfectly (or at least better than you would have, that's why you went out).
You should interact with the universe in the same way. Order something from the catalog and trust that it is coming somehow, someway. Don’t worry about how. Don’t worry about looks. Focus on the taste.
The Cure: Read How to Manifest the Love of Your Life. (Even if you're not needing to manifest your soul mate, the principles apply to manifesting all things.)
You kill everything with “But”
“I would like more money, but I’ve never had it before."
“I would like a new job, but I’ve always done this.”
(Or, if you’re like me right now...) “I would like a puppy, but my parents won’t let me have one while I'm still living at home.”
Congratulations, you just murdered your desire's chance to live by drowning it in your present circumstance.
These kinds of buts slam your desires right back down to reality. Instead use "but" to your advantage by switching the placement of the perceived reality and the desire. Like this...
“I haven’t been feeling very good, but I’m probably alright.”
“I’ve never had much money, but I think I could.”
“I’ve always worked here, but I would enjoy trying something new.”
See how much better that feels? Use "but" to your advantage by softening the current reality with a new desired possibility.
The Cure: Read How Being Realistic is Ruining Your Life.
Your momentum is all backward
Law of attraction responds predominantly to your feelings which are controlled by your thoughts. And your thoughts can gain momentum in different directions (for better or for worse).
Sometimes our thoughts take a negative spiral and the law of attraction reflects that back to us in the form of unfortunate events. Which leads to more negative thoughts, which leads to more unfortunate events and so on. (As you've probably experienced if you've ever had one of "those" days.)
But the same is true in the opposite direction as well. The law of attraction is very fair in this way. Our thoughts can also spiral upward.
So, since everything that you want to manifest is because it will somehow make you feel better, you have to reverse your negative trajectory if that's the way you are headed.
If you’ve been feeling bad for many years and now you decide you want to feel good. You cannot just feel good spontaneously, all of the sudden. The momentum of feeling bad is too strong because that’s what you have been practicing for a long time. Like any habit, it can be a challenge to change at first.
You have to find a way to soften the bad feelings enough to allow yourself to feel ok and then after feeling ok for a little while you can start to feel good. You have to first stop and then reverse the momentum.
But the best way to accomplish this is to distract yourself from the negative thoughts for long enough that you stop practicing them enough to start slowing their momentum. Having fun and doing more joyful things in the easiest way to distract from the negative. Once the momentum is slowed it's easier to change the trajectory of your thoughts altogether towards a more positive route.
The Cure: Read my book #ActuallyICan The Art of Affirming Yourself to Greatness and start a gratitude journal to shift your momentum on an upwards spiral.
You have to see it to believe it
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” You say.
Well, guess what. If that’s the case, then you're never gonna see it.
This conditional lifestyle is not exactly simpatico with the law of attraction. If you want the law of attraction to work for you, you have to believe it first and see it second.
This is probably the most popular trap people fall into, not to mention the most frustrating. The "conditional life trap" as I like to call it. When/after blank happens I will feel better in some way.
"When I get a new house, I will be happy."
"When I am in a relationship, I won’t feel lonely anymore."
"When I get that promotion, I will feel super badass."
Everybody is approaching life backward!
The thing about the law of attraction is that you have to be a vibrational match to what you want. Which, in plain English, means that you have to feel the emotion first to get the desired thing second. So if you want a promotion because you think it will make you feel like a badass you have to feel like a badass first in order to be a vibrational match to the promotion.
This is deliberate creation. The difference between the people who ride their lives in the back seat and the people who drive.
You have to capture the emotion of what you want first and then, as a consequence, that thing will come. It works every single time.
The Cure: Read The Best Life Advice You'll Ever Get and How to Manifest Your Desires So Quickly You'll Think It's Magic.
YOU'VE NEVER noticed YOUR OWN POWER IN ACTION
The law of attraction works for everyone all the time. Doesn't matter if you believe it or deny it, it's working. (Whether it's working in your favor or not is another story.)
The law of attraction is like gravity. It's always there, it always has been. You can either conduct yourself in agreement with it, or not. Doesn't mean it doesn't work or is inconsistent.
Your thoughts always create your reality, but maybe you’ve just never taken the time to notice specific examples of this in your life. And therefore you don't realize how you can utilize it to your advantage. You’ve just never made the conscious association between your thoughts and how they have been affecting your life experiences.
In other words, you're a coincidence believer. You dismiss your manifestations as coincidence, luck, or nothing at all.
Stop dismissing everything as a coincidence and begin to look for evidence of when your thoughts directly create your reality.
Think back to some "coincidences" in your life and see if you can find a correlation between what you were focusing on and feeling and what manifested because of it.
The Cure: Read 8 Self Improvement Books That will Make You Superhuman (especially E- Squared). Notice your own power for once with my book #ActuallyICan The Art of Affirming Yourself to Greatness.
Your beliefs don't support your vision
The law of the attraction always proves your beliefs right. It's constantly showing you evidence of your thoughts. Beliefs are no different. Beliefs are just thoughts you have practiced over and over again, rendering them even more powerful than regular thoughts.
The universe always says yes. So if you believe a certain thing then the universe will always keep proving it to you.
That is why everyone thinks that their truth is the only truth. It really is their truth because they believe it and the law of attraction keeps proving it to them over and over, solidifying it into their experience.
The Cure: Read How to Manifest Your Desires So Quickly You'll Think It's Magic to work on any hindering beliefs.
You've simply given up
After so many times of trying to think things into existence you get frustrated with your lack of results and quit. And then you hate yourself because you are "doing it wrong" despite all the podcasts, books, and article that promise three easy steps. You feel powerless and defeated.
But guess what. Just because you couldn't get the law of attraction to work for you in the past doesn't mean it can't or won't work for you now. The past is totally irrelevant when it comes to manifesting. The present moment is the only thing that matters because however you feel and focus right now is what's going to determine what you bring into your life experience in the future.
Now is the time to feel good. Now is the time to daydream. Now is the time to attract awesomeness into your life.
If you've struggled in the past, it's only because you've lost sight of the fact that you were created to create. Just as God (Source, The Universe, Whoever/Whatever) created you, as an extension of that you possess the same creative powers!
"Is she implying that I am as powerful as God? That God is within me and not separate from me? The opposite of everything I've ever been taught by religion!"
Yup. Yes, I am.
The Cure: Read The Truth of Who You Are.
YOU’RE NOT A VIBRATIONAL MATCH
In order to realize your manifestations in full, you need to be a vibrational match to them. Meaning, the desired emotion that your manifestation is supposedly going to bring to you needs to be your dominant vibration in order for you to be a match to it.
For example, if you want something that is going to give you the feeling of gratitude you need to first be in a grateful state in order to receive it.
It all starts from the inside out. If you are thankful, the universe will give you more things to be thankful for. If you are happy, you will attract more experiences that encourage your happiness. If you feel abundant, abundance will flow to you.
Which explains why when you don’t feel thankful you cannot attract more things to be thankful for. Or when you are sad you will not attract experiences that make you feel happy. And when you feel poor you cannot create abundance.
It’s not a match. You have to level up with what you want in order to be a match to it.
The Cure: Read How to Manifest Your Desires So Quickly You'll Think It's Magic. Get the free Manifesting Cheat Sheet and become a vibrational match.
YOU'RE NOT HAVING FUN WITH IT
People mistakenly think this is all very serious business, but that’s the farthest from the truth. To really breakthrough, the more fun you can have with it, the better. Fun is such a high vibration and when you are in that state you can more easily attract!
Plus the purpose of manifesting is not to just get everything you want, but to enjoy the actual process of creation! It's not just the means to an end, it's the journey that you're after. Owning and feeling your power is the fun of all this manifesting business.
The Cure: Read Why You Never Get What You Want and What to Do About It. Have some fun with the free Manifesting Cheat Sheet.
YOU’RE OVERTHINKING IT
You don't have to try to be the creator of your own reality because you already are! You've been naturally doing it your whole life. Now, whether or not you want to claim responsibility for that is up to you. But if you do, you take back your power and can then use it deliberately and with purpose.
In all seriousness, you already have everything you need to create a badass life for yourself. The real trick is just knowing what you want, choosing it for yourself and then feeling good so you can receive it. That's it.
But if you stick with me, I'll help you get there. I've taken the journey from three long years of clinical depression (that's a lot of negative momentum and resistence) to becoming the ultimate creator of my own badass life. Take it from me that this stuff really works. Just take's a little practice.
Join my community below if you want to start owning your power and winning at life. And if you're ready to start breaking these bad habits and get serious about manifesting you should really consider enrolling in Manifesting Masterclass.
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