As a self-love coach, teacher and advocate I see a lot of people who know that they need to love themselves more, and even want to love themselves more, but are scared of the potential consequences.

Will I become a narcissist?

Will people think I’m self-centered?

Will I have to leave the job that I hate?

Will I have to raise my standards and stop settling for shitty friends and partners?

Truthfully, the answers to these questions vary, so we will explore them together. But first I will say that loving yourself is a journey that will require you to upgrade your thoughts and habits, so yes, some big changes will occur, but all for the best!

How I Learned to Love Myself

You would never know it now, but I used to be someone who would demand too much of myself, constantly critique myself, push myself too hard, and even tolerate abusive relationships.

If you asked me if I loved myself I would say “Of course, what’s not to love?”, but my actions displayed otherwise.

I thought I loved myself because I liked that I was a high achiever with many accomplishments under my belt. In reality, my value was very tied to my contribution to the world, the people around me, and my various achievements.

The Truth: My love for myself was conditional.

I “loved” myself for writing another book, looking a certain way, or helping someone else (even at the expense of myself).

I only started practicing what I now call radical self-love after I went through an 8-month-long emotionally abusive, and extremely manipulative, relationship (with someone who has borderline personality disorder). That really opened my eyes.

After lots of reflection, healing work, and therapy it became crystal clear to me that every mean thing he ever said or did to me was a direct mirror of how I had been treating myself! No wonder he felt so familiar.

Years later, after implementing a lifestyle of radical and unconditional self-love, I can confidently say it has done nothing but improve every single area of my life… exponentially.

The Benefits of Self-Love: Transforming Your Life

Here’s what happened to me after I embraced self-love and self-care...

I finally met the man of my dreams and got married. (Yay!)

I made peace with the part of me that’s always anxious and now I hardly experience anxiety anymore.

My self-talk is kind, compassionate, and supportive.

My diet has dramatically improved after choosing to nourish myself in all ways possible.

I started making way more money because I wasn’t afraid to charge what I was worth.

I can navigate any and all my emotions with grace and relative ease.

I work out from a place of loving my body versus hating and needing to change my body.

I let myself rest and honor my unique energy flow instead of constantly pushing myself out of fear of not being valuable.

Every single relationship in my life has improved as a side effect of improving my relationship with myself.

I’m able to better serve my coaching clients, retreat attendees, book readers, and everyone I interact with because my cup is pretty much always full and overflowing.

And, most importantly, I’m happy because I honor myself, my needs, my preferences, boundaries, and desires. Oh yeah, I almost forgot the best part.

Now that I’m in a self-loving frequency and generally happy state, manifestation has become so effortless it’s insane. I have now come to realize that practicing self-love is one of the most powerful manifestation hacks one can utilize.

But it hasn’t just helped me.

Now that I teach women all over the world how to love themselves deeply so they can feel better and manifest their highest timelines, I’ve seen self-love transform so many lives for the better.

Women who come to my Radical Self-Love Retreat go home re-born and love themselves enough to finally ditch anything and anyone that wasn’t supporting them before. They also finally do the things they have always wanted to do (like start a new business or get a long-time-coming divorce!) because they actually feel they deserve it. (Which they do! You do too.)

I’ve seen my one-on-one coaching clients learn how to love themselves through any emotion, so deeply, that they gain a totally new confidence in life. When you are no longer scared to feel your feelings, you are free to follow your heart because you know that no matter the outcome, you’ve got yourself and you can handle anything. It’s next-level liberating.

My Radical Self-Love students say that self-love has totally changed their life, improved their relationships, and helped them access unlimited compassion, ease, and flow in their lives.

Women who have read my Mini-Book of Self-Love For The Modern Woman (grab your free copy here or order a hardcover on Amazon) write emails to me saying how much better they feel now that they have given themselves permission to feel their feelings, prioritize themselves (for once), love all of themselves (not just the likable parts), and honor their needs, desires, and personal truths.

The Truth About Self-Love: Myths and Realities

Here’s the truth, when you love yourself things shift and change for the better, in big (and small) ways.

No, you won’t become a self-centered narcissist.

If anything you’ll become a more loving person to everyone as a side effect of being better at relating to yourself and being more in touch with your heart.

Yes, self-love will demand a higher standard of thoughts, choices, and relationships because you’ll be doing what’s best for you, always, no matter how hard that may be. (No more f-boys ladies, you deserve the best.)

Yes, you will start to feel better, more whole, and more energized.

And yes, you will finally have the courage to create the life of your dreams AND let it in when it arrives. (Something people who cling to feelings of “not good enough” and “I don’t deserve it” will never know.)

So that’s the cold hard truth from a self-love teacher/enthusiast. It’s not always easy to prioritize yourself and live in alignment with your highest truth… but trust me, it’s worth it!

If you need more support on your self-love journey or guidance on how to cultivate self-compassion and self-worth, I’m here to help!

Read the Mini-Book of Self-Love, check out my Radical Self-Love Online Course, listen to any of our numerous High Vibin’ It episodes on self-love, or join the next Radical Self-Love Retreat. I’ve got a plethora of resources waiting here for just you.

Good luck on your self-love journey!

xo - Kelsey

A Free Gift for Your Self-Love Journey

Ready to get started on your self-love journey, but unsure exactly where to start? I have a free gift for you!

It’s The Mini-Book of Self-Love for the Modern Woman, a bite-sized book specifically designed to help you love, accept, and embrace ALL of you, even if you’ve never been able to before. It’s available on Amazon for 10 bucks, but yours FREE for getting to the end of this blog post.

Download it here for free and enjoy!