An Open Letter to Anyone Who's Struggling with Self-Worth
So, you've been struggling with self-worth issues.
You find it hard to love and accept yourself as you are. You feel like you're only good enough if you accomplish a certain amount of goals, tasks, pounds, or "successes". You're constantly looking at where you've done wrong or been less than.
Well, this thought pattern stops today. It's time to stand up for yourself, to yourself.
It's time to stand up for yourself, to yourself.
Like always, I'm gonna keep it real and tell it like it is. I'm about to remind you of the truth of who you are. The very thing that you've lost sight of along the way. Are you ready?
You are already perfect. You are perfect because you were created perfect and nothing you think, say, or do can make you any less deserving or worthy than anyone else. Everyone is made of love and everyone is lovable. This includes you.
I don't care how much you weigh, how often you "fail", or how many times you think you've "sinned", you have always been and always will be 100% worthy. (I don't believe in the concept of sin because if the Universe loves us unconditionally, which it does, then it doesn't get mad at us in the first place and therefore has no need to forgive us. It's this new concept called "unconditional love". ;))
You are completely worthy of unconditional self-love, worthy of love from others, worthy of love from the Universe, worthy of abundance and freedom, worthy of happiness and joy, worthy of passion and purpose... You were born worthy and nothing/nobody can take that away from you, except yourself.
If you think you're not worthy, you're actually coming from a very egotistical place because you're basically saying that you're somehow special or different from everyone else who ever existed! Nobody is special because we are all special. Nobody is different because we are all essentially the same.
Everyone is just living this thing called life and doing their best, including you. So give yourself a break and stop being so damn hard on yourself already!
You don't have to do, accomplish, or be anything other than the real you to be worthy of love from others, and more importantly, love from yourself.
You don't have to do, accomplish, or be anything other than the real you to be worthy of love. Tweet It
Do you think babies worry if they're worthy enough to have their diapers changed? Do you think little kids worry if they are perfect enough to pull off their favorite outfit? Do you think the Universe wonders if it's worthy enough to be the Universe?!
The answer to all these questions is obviously no. They don't worry about it and they don't question it. Why? Because they already know. They still remember the truth of who/what they are.
So why do you question your worthiness of a nice relationship, a raise at work, or even your own love?
Because you've simply forgotten the truth. (Don't worry, it happens to the best of us!) The truth being that you are worthy, because everyone is. You don't need to try to be worthy. You just are.
You don't need to try to be worthy. You just are.
Self-love is not something to strive for or work towards. It's something to uncover and come back to.
All you need do to is release the beliefs that no longer serve you and come back to the self-love that is already inside of you. It's always been there and it still is! It's just hiding under piles and piles of self-degrading moments and thoughts, but as soon as you release that baggage, you'll find it again. #freeyoself
You're not broken, You're not missing anything. You don't need to "help" yourself. You just need to remember. That's all.
It's so easy to go around looking (desperately in most cases) for these feeling of love and worthiness outside of ourselves, but there's a reason why they are called "self-love" and "self-worth". You cannot find them in anyone else. Only you can grant yourself the love you so freely give to others.
And you should, because you're amazing and you deserve it.
I'll even teach you how below (so now you really have no excuses not to at least try).
5 Practical Ways to Cultivate More Self-Love
The obvious cure to feeling unworthy is to practice more self-love. So here are a few ways you can start loving yourself more today!
(At first, it might not feel as natural to love yourself as it truthfully is, especially after all these years of practicing self-doubt, but like anything, you'll get better at it over time. #yougotthis)
1. Use Positive Affirmations
In my new book, #ActuallyICan The Art of Affirming Yourself to Greatness, there are tons of awesome affirmations for self-love that you can practice as a "first-step" way to begin loving yourself. If you're wanting to cultivate more self-love (plus financial freedom, kick-ass relationships, and much, much more) this is your book!
Here are a few of my favorite affirmations from the "Love Yo Self" chapter...
"I choose to honor who I am because I am amazing."
"I can love and accept myself."
"When I need something to believe in, I start with myself."
2. Pretend Like You Love Yourself (Until You Really Do)
Another great exercise, that I learned from Teal Swan, is to always ask yourself, "What would someone who loves themselves do?" In any situation, weather you're deciding what to eat, who to hang out with, or what to think about, just imagine what someone who loves themselves would do and then do that!
3. Treat Yourself Like You Would a Small Child
This easy and applicable exercise is to treat yourself like you would an innocent child. Change your self-talk to a more unconditionally loving, gentle and caring dialogue.
If you had a child who was learning how to walk and they kept falling you wouldn't yell at them! "You're such a stupid baby, you're never gonna be a good walker! It's amazing the amount of times you fail and keep trying. Just give up already you worthless waste of space." Needless to say, that would be horrifying and inhumane! Yet that's what you've been doing to yourself...
4. Forgive Yourself (over and over)
Get in the habit of forgiving yourself on a regular basis. "I forgive myself for ______________________," should be your new favorite sentence. When you think a negative thought, forgive yourself. "I forgive myself for thinking that thought." When you mess up, forgive yourself. "I forgive myself for being late to work." After all, you're doing your best. Cut yourself some slack.
5. Challenge Yourself
Can you commit to loving yourself for a month straight? Put yourself to the test and join my 30 Day Life Makeover Challenge where I guide you through 30 positive affirmations designed to cultivate more inner peace and self love. Every day you'll get a short email from me with your affirmation assignment of the day and a beautiful picture you can save for yourself or post to social media. It's fun and effective. Sign up to join the party here!
And there you have it! Five actionable ways to start loving on yourself today. If you already have a great technique for practicing more self-love and feeling worthy, drop me a comment below! I'd love to hear from you.